Live look at me running playoff scenarios this week:
I figured instead of a throwback story this week I would do a breakdown of where we all stand and where we go from here.. also FYI it’s Lobos hate week
Who’s in:
Max
Record 10-2
1537 points scored
Yeah fuck that guy, am I right? He’s got a team full of PED users and I demand a recount.
What it means:
He’s the locked number one seed AND total points winner because he’s a filthy cheater. I bet you play draw 2 and draw 4 cards back to back in UNO too, huh? Fucking monster.
Mason
Record 7-5
1394 points scored
The used car salesman strikes in back to back weeks getting Tyreke Hill for a bag of stale salt and vinegar chips and the Cooper brothers for some IR players.. to a team that might make the playoffs? Everyone should give him a round of applause at this point.
What it means:
He’s guaranteed to get to pick his opponent for the playoffs. If he wins he gets second pick. If he loses he gets third in favor of me or Mitchell (me – lobos are soft)
Jarro
Record 7-5
1320
AHEM* I’ve made the playoffs every year the league has existed. Everyone sucks but me.
What it means:
It means I’m better than everyone.
Unless I lose to Mitchell then I don’t get to pick my opponent. (Not gonna happen – lobos are soft)
The bubble:
Soft ass lobos aka Mitchell
Record 6-6
Points scored 1416
I would like to take this time to remind everyone that Mitchell has never won the league. He is fake news and claims a victory from the dark days of the DFL. Pretty sure there isn’t even a jacket to corroborate his lie. SAD. #LobosHateWeek
What it means:
Did Mitchell make the playoffs? Yes. But technically any 6-7 team is going to a tiebreaker.. and if you score 30 like your wife – anything can happen. Double burn.
Jake
Record 6-6
Points scored 1379
Is Jake a prime target to get picked by a top 3 seed? After that Tyreek deal – definitely maybe yes. Better hope CMC gets shut down and Mike Davis stays relevant.
What does it mean:
Win and you’re in, lose and you go to a tie breaker. Same “Hanna rule” applies to you – better score more than 30 points.
Caleb
Record 6-6
Points scored 1306
Ridley and Smoke sure did pick a bad time to get hurt, huh? But hey, at least you didn’t cave and trade away Cam Akers?
What it means:
Win and you get to dance and you eliminate Hanna (double win), lose and things get a little tricky. 6-7 can put you in a tie with a few people – with only a slight edge over Adam and Derek currently in total points.
Derek
Record 6-6
Points scored 1274
Is this the definition of getting your cake and eating it too? You traded away for best player for Saquan Barkley AND I think you made the playoffs.
What it means:
Win and you’re in – lose and you have a 50 point jump on Ben for the last spot
Adam
Record 5-7
Total points 1299
Similar to Derek, Adam decided to tank and then his playoff odds changed pretty drastically for the better?
What it means: if you win you go to the tiebreaker with a BIG lead on Ben and Hanna.. Essentially a win puts you in because it also eliminates Tim. Lose and you get to delete the group me app for a few months.
Ben
Record 5-7
Total points 1222
Like the little engine that could.. our little Wallaby isn’t quite done fighting yet.
What it means:
If Ben and Tim both win – that’s the easiest path to playoffs for the Marsupials. Ben only has a 24 point deficit to catch in a tiebreaker. Never count out the Ausi squad.
Hanna
Record 5-7
Points 1206
Oof. The 30 point week not only dealt her a loss.. but it might have knocked her out of the tie breaker. Sucks to suck.
What it means:
A loss and it’s over – you win and you have to hope Ben and Derek get their phones stolen and lineups rearranged with waiver wire players. I’ve seen crazier things.
Tim
Record 5-7
Total points 1248
How much did last week screw Tim – no Lamar Jackson or a Qb for Denver basically handed over Ben a W.. at the absolute worst time. Write an email to Goodell, Tim.
What it means:
Win and you eliminate Adam and get into the tie breaker. If Logan also wins you have a 40 point gap between you and Hanna – that’s the Avenue you want.
Gone fishing:
Logan
Record 4-8
Total points – higher than a lot of people
Sorry buddy – you don’t deserve this.
To the picks! Fastest 3 minute style
Adam’s Islanders vs Papa Time
Adam traded away a really good team this year to get younger.. just maybe for the two WRONG rookie running backs. Fortunately he’s going to back door a playoff spot. No Lamar Jackson means no playoffs for Father Time.
Hanna’s Honey Badgers vs Caleb’s Cobra Crew
Hanna has a tanking lineup set – laying down the king is the right thing to do here (been watching too much Queens Gambit – starting to make chess references). The CCC gets to dance next week.
The Jive Turkeys vs Max’s Mad Hatters
Max gets his last taste of victory for the year because cheaters never win in the long run, havent you ever seen a movie, bro?
Masons and the Mistress vs Derek’s BDE
UPSET OF THE WEEK – give me Derek and the kids-bop crew. Herbi with the BIG bounce back game and Tyreek cant score 50 twice, right??
Bens Australian Marsupials vs The Dead Squad
Picking Logan’s bad luck is the easiest money line of the year – we all know Ben is dropping 150 this week. Ausi power!
Mitchell’s Lobos vs Jarro’s Landsharks
AHEM* Lobos are soft. Lobos are undeserving. Lobos will lose. Who even needs CMC, am I right?
The MFL 