Does anyone ever look back on life and think ”man, if I had only done that differently things would’ve turned out so much better.” Me too. Pretty frequently actually. And Almost always about.. coaching mistakes I made back in my prime
Oh what – you guys thought I was about to bring up some real world shit? Nah we talking about boys middle school flag football and how I’m way too smart to have a record of 2-10..
Yep, you read that right, 2-10.
I can’t quantify the amount of sleep I’ve lost over the years because of FLAG FOOTBALL.
It’s a lot.
So I’m sure I’ve captured your attention at this point and you’re asking yourself – “what the hell happened Jarro?!”
I’ll tell you – I didn’t KISS it. (Probably shouldn’t use that acronym when talking about middle schoolers but what the hell)
You guys would have been so proud at how intricate this offense was in theory. Oh the jet motions.. the muddle huddles.. the no huddle/flash card offense.. The spread option.. all 20 different formations.. I’m still convinced if Chip Kelly had shown up to a game I’d be working at UCLA right now.
But it didn’t matter – week in and week out we got murdered by false starts and teams who ran pitch left, pitch right, and play action go routs.
Longest, most humbling two years of my life.
Moral of the story? Don’t coach at a middle school full of nerds and learn to KISS it sometimes.. Keep it simple, stupid.
Adam’s Armadillos vs Tim the Tool-Man Taylor
Adam has pretty much the opposite of my team, huh? A team full of receivers without a running back in sight! See what I did there? It was a Johnathan Taylor dig.
Taylor for Pittman straight up – who says no??
(Did I do that right Mason?)
Did Timbo stumble upon RB2 in dynasty? Because Twitter certainly thinks so.. even though he may have murdered someone in the off-season.. Does anyone else remember that? Eh who cares Deandre Swift be Swifty
Give me Father Time in a close one – Lamar is the WHOLE Ravens offense and Chubba is REALLY good.. or was that just against Big 12 defenses?
Max’s Mississippi Mud Dogs vs Hanna’s Bears
After a ripping first year in the league, Max may have finally crashed landed back to earth
Monty, Woods and Smitty have all been underwhelming so far. But don’t worry, I’m sure Trey Sermon will smite me and be a top 5 RB now that I traded him away.
Checks stat sheet*
Wait, did Najee really have 19 targets last week? Yeesh. I also love the Cowboys stack – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Give me Hanna. Sneaky good team and she’s starting this American hero.
Caleb’s Cobra Clan (CCC) vs Derek’s Death Squad
Checks Caleb’s team **
Positive notes – you have Chef Russ, Calvin Ridley and Gronk so you’ll always have a punchers chance. Maybe start Zack Moss over Singletary? Buffalo loves him for some reason in the red zone. That ones a freebie, next one will cost you.
Derek might epitomize the argument that the draft still matters.
Lamb, Jefferson and Chase are going to make you annoying as hell to play for years. Do you know how many ulcers you’re going to give all of us? Making us watch garbage time Bengals games… you asshole.
Give me the Death Squad by a lot.
Walbrown’s Wallabies vs Logan’s Alphas
I love that Ben snaked Elijah Mitchell (Kyle Shanahans secret lover) from us all. What a pick. Also, I was shitting bricks the whole time last week watching the Seahawks game – Tyler Locket can go for 30 anytime Russ chooses.
“Does Logan have worse luck than Christian Mccaffrey” is my next poll on Twitter. Swear to God.
Seriously, who are you praying to? Should we pray for you?
Sorry Benny, I can’t pick against the Alpha squad. This team on paper should win by 50 every week.
Jakes Jive Turkeys vs Masons Mistress
Jake is dying on the “Mike Davis and Kyle Pitts” hill when he has 3 guys on his bench that should start over them. I mean.. definitely not telling you who because no free advice for people with jackets.
The buy low window on Saquan and CEH has officially passed and honestly, shame on us for not taking advantage of Masons crippling addiction to trades. Do they make AA meetings for fantasy football?
I’m not sure if I buy into projections 100% – but the JTs are projected to outscore Mason this week. Gotta mean something right? Give me the Turkeys in a barn burner #GobbleGobble
Mitchell’s Lobos vs Jarro’s Landsharks
Oh cool CMC is hurt.. again.. during Lobos hate week..
Instead of boring you guys with a bunch of nonsense about how Mitchell’s team should murder me without my sweet Price CMC – I’ll take my own advice..
Sometimes you just gotta KISS it..
Give me the Landsharks by a million
The MFL 