So… you had a bad start to the season… I know. I hear your pain. I’ve been there too… I mean obviously not now look at me!?! I am practically shopping for the jacket. Back to you. I am here for you and I want to give you some hope. Let’s play a game… of did this team make the playoffs… I am going to give you 3 resumes and you guess if they made the playoffs
Team 1
5-8 Record
360 points behind the first place team
Team 2
6-8 Record
410 points behind the first place team
Team 3
6-8 Record
330 points behind the first place team
Have you guess?
Did you guess team 1? CORRECT… wow you’re so smart
Did you guess team 2? CORRECT… You my friend are good at this
Did you guess team 3? CORRECT… GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU WITCH!
Team 1 Caleb 2018
Team 2 Hanna 2016
Team 3 Derek 2017
All made the playoffs. All had a bad regular season. Why do I tell you this? THERE’S HOPE! Don’t give up yet… even if you’re 0-3 (Cough cough Logan cough cough). Still plenty of season left, no need to panic, unless you’re Jake or Mason… then panic!
To the picks!
Father Time vs Mason
You’re telling me Timbo is favored to beat mason?! Well I am here for this. Timmy is just one week away from getting a huge boost in Melvin Gordon, but this week, still needs a couple guys to hold down the fort. Hopefully TY plays. Mason, a ton riding to TNF for you. Plus starting Chark is just the kind of risk I am not willing to take. Juju might be a genuine concern nowadays too. 3 catches, 81 yard and a TD sounds fun but… 1 of those catches went for a 76 yard TD. Now it has a different ring to it. Panic?? I say yes.
Mason Wins
Hanna vs Derek
Now for the battle over Mitchell’s heart. Hanna has no doubt been the luckiest team in the league, two wins by a combined .4 points. Good clean living if you ask me. Derek’s team find a way to lose even though he got 70 points from 2 players and neither were a QB. You had to put real effort into losing this game. Respect. Derek did shake Baker Baker, for Danny Dimes. Not that it will make a difference, at this point you’re just chasing the hype train.
Hanna Wins
Ben vs Jarro
Well, Ben has had a pretty decent week last week. Saw good life from Lockett and Amire Cooper is becoming everything Mason thought he would be. Still the woes in the RB position continue, but hopefully Devin Singletary will come back soon. Jarro is the wolf, hanging in the bushes wearing sheep clothes. Just waiting… keeping a low pro (as the kids say). WELL YOU ARENT FOOLING ME JARRO! I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE!
Jarro wins
Logan vs Jake
In the battle of the zeros, someone has to win something… The good news for Logan is, it looks like he won the Julio Jones trade, which is nice. Plus Copper Kupp is everything I knew he was, and I stay up at night screaming, thinking about the fact that I gave him up… good for you I guess. The dream is, that all your player will show up in the same week, fingers crossed. Jakey poo is 0-3 and I am so happy to say I had a part in it. Makes my soul smile. Good news is Kamara is still Kamara and eventually Tyreek will come back
IN MY STONE COLD LED PIPE LOCK OF THE WEEK
LOGAN OVER JAKE
Adam vs Gray
Adam didn’t respond to a text or trade I sent him… so he is dead to me. Speaking of dead, Patty Mahomes on Gray’s team is like LeVeon Bell on the Jets. It just hurts to watch and it feels wrong. The good news for Gray is it seems as if Daniel Jones likes to throw the ball to Engram & Shepard and no one else… that is nice. The bad news is literally everything else.
Adam wins
Caleb vs Mitchell
Caleb is 2-1 ?! Holy Sh%@t Caleb is 2-1*
*takes a closer look at Caleb’s team, is no longer worried*
78 points from 2 players last week.
64 from 7 others combined
OHHH now it all makes sense. The good news is Mark Ingram is finally a featured back and Hopkins is good. The bad news is everything else.
Mitchell wins
Dear God, it’s me, Mitchell….
I see you’re testing me with Michigan. NOT COOL. NOT. COOL.
With love
Mitchell
The MFL 