*Note From the Author: I want to spend this entire article listing the things I’d do/give for Michigan to beat Ohio State but at this point that just feels like a Letter to Lost Loves. So, you’re lucky cause I just deleted two thousand words about Jim Harbaugh…
Jim Mora talking about the playoffs is how you need to start your playoff week
Yea people we are talking playoffs and no one has Reinvented the Exit in the first round quite like the Lobos, so I am going to give you the keys to a first round exit brought to you by the 2019 Mitchell’s Lobos. Last season, the Lobos were leading the league in total points and playing the 7-6 Ben’s Team in the first round and somehow lost 90.56 to 88.8… let’s take a peek at what could go wrong…
- First, you need a failed stack. The QB of a team and a star WR to give you nothing. Last season the Lobos were stacking Aaron Rodgers and DaVante Adams, the duo combined for 19 points despite being projected for 36.
- Second, we are gonna need some underwhelming performances. Dalvin Cook was projected for 21.8 and he went for a disappointing 14.
- Finally, we are gonna need to fail in the crap shoot category. Jake Elliott & Green Bay’s Defense combined for 9 points, they were both projected at 7. Ps, Jake Elliott missed a 38 yard field goal on Monday Night Football. Incase you don’t think I know what pain feels like.
Hey wait a second… Rodgers… Adams… Cook… streaming D/st & Kickers…. The 2019 and 2020 Lobos are basically the same team……. Shit.
Timbo Joe vs Maxi & Dem Boys
There’s no way around it, Max did a great job this year and it is worth mentioning every single time we write on this website. Good job dude. Now, that being said, this is as tight of a 1 v 8 matchup that we have ever seen. Max isn’t just down two starters, he is down to starting KeKe Coutee and Jamison Crowder. Which say, when Max loses to Timmy this week, we shouldn’t make fun of him. He had one hell of a ride, but like Michigan’s football season, it’s gracefully coming to an end. GIMME TIM IN THE UPSET
Mason & Dem Boys vs Jake & Dem Boys
Now, I am a firm believer that when we switched to a “call out system” for our playoffs that it would be so much more fun if we hyped up each matchup. Thank you, Mason and Jake, for doing so, you made me interested in Thursday Night Football.
Now, I know Jake thinks we are “hard on his team” but I would love to actually hear what Jake thinks football wise. Is he looking at each team and thinking “oh I’ve got a better than 50% chance of winning.”? Because, trust me, Jake beating Mason would be great for the Lobos and I am rooting for Jake this week but man oh man, outside of really bad luck for Mason, I don’t see how Jake pulls this one out. It’s gotta be a 40 point game from the back half of his starters or Kamara going for 50. I will say this though, all credit to Jake for the Aiyuk pick, dude looks legit. My brain says Mason, but my heart wants an upset… AND THE HEART GETS WHAT THE HEART WANTS. Give me the JT’s.
Jarro & Dem Boys vs Caleb & Dem Boys
Christian McCaffery is Jarro’s world right now. All his focus needs to go to him. All his prayers needs to go to him. I am not fully convinced this “Vacation” isn’t just Jarro going all the way up to Charlotte to check in on BAE… and if it is, it is a vacation well spent. Because for being one of the winningest owners in league history, all of the winning hasn’t turned into much for Jarro. Which means, every year he is in the playoffs he gets the opportunity to prove he belongs on the hallowed list of Champions. Caleb already has his jacket plus his name etched into the lore of the MFL. Caleb’s boys haven’t been great this year but with Cam Akers emerging it is very possible we have yet to see what he is capable of.
All that being said, Jarro will most likely roll, it will take a week like the lobos had in 2019 for Caleb to be moving to the second round.
Mitchell’s Lobos vs Derek & Dem Boys
Nothing says mid-December fantasy football like the Lobos laying an egg in the first round. I am setting at a 142 projection this week so let’s just say Mitchell has done his part and leave it at that.
Derek is having his cake and eating it too. This team went into tank mode early and what do ya know… he made it into the playoffs. Justin Jefferson is WR4 this year. Yes. WR4. James Robinson is RB4 this year. Yes. RB4. If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about our draft, I am not sure what will.
Derek’s last four games 121, 121, 123, 75. I gotta believe this team is more 120, than 75, which is why Mason and Max passed them over. Derek and dem boys have beaten the Lobos twice this year, with a point differential of 86 between the two. So, not only did he beat me twice, but it wasn’t even close.
Derek’s team without a doubt is better than Caleb (sorry Caleb), so why would I open myself up to humiliation by picking Derek in the first round? Great question. I spent most of the past two days in the woods, high on peyote, seeking my spirit animal. The great Lobo. The great Lobo came to me while I was naked sprawled out in front of a Wendy’s drive through.
The great Lobo said “Are you a little bitch?”
“No” I answered with fear in my voice
“Then do as the great Lobo commands, beat Derek in the first round of the playoffs, but first, venture to Lake Wales and pee on his pillow without him knowing”
I have listened to the words of the great Lobo, now I know he will deliver what he promised, a victory over Derek in the first round.
Ps, Derek I know you live in Lake Wales but you really need to start locking your doors.
To Logan, Adam, Ben & Hanna,
I know what it is like to miss the playoffs, I have plenty of times, keep your head up, keep grinding. Do some peyote and find your spirit animal, it worked for me.
With love,
Mitchell
The MFL 