ANNNDDDDD
we’re back… what? 3/5 = >50%
right on track
i will fill you in on my picks from the last two weeks. in week 3 i got Logan, Mason, Caleb, Hanna and myself. week 4 i got Jake, Mason, Ben, Caleb, Tim, and myself.
what? i went 100%. i’m hot rn
Wouldn’t ya know it… you look down and all the sudden, you’re almost a quarter of the way through the season. Let’s do what we as American sports fans love more than anything else… Let’s do some power rankings.
(note, I was thinking where do I start? Revealing the best team, and the worse team are equally as fun. I don’t want to give the best thing away first, so, I have decided to start from the middle and fan out both sides, it might not make sense, and that’s okay, the numbers let you know where we are at)
6. Ben’s Kracken
I think middle six is about right for Ben. The teams good, and I think that there’s a real chance he could win a jacket. Of course, gotta get hot at the right time, but maybe a favorable draw in the playoffs, a good waiver wire pickup. Ya never know.
Say something nice: Depth. This team could withstand several injuries and still be able to field a 100-point lineup.
Be mean: Top end talent. I don’t think this is a team that will threaten for a points championship.
7. Derek’s BDE
Here’s what I like… I comment about Derek’s roster, he makes moves. Derek’s been missing my comments for the last couple years, and didn’t make any moves. I liked Derek’s big move with Mason but I thought the trade with Logan was more 50/50, trading Henry and adding Egbuka to get younger but adding Saquan, Aaron Jones and Monty (who is terrible, I told yall… and then I was wrong, but now I am right again) to your roster really accelerates the “championship window”.
Say something nice: Vibes. Great vibe team. Like one of the original 8 in the NHL. Great depth, and some good RBs. A throwback approach. Again, my gut said vibes, I am sticking with vibes.
Be mean: Most things. Age. QB. WR. I don’t love Egbuka, or that Tampa Bay offense.
(Stick with me here, switch up in direction)
5. Father Tim
Admittedly, I moved Timbo down below the Mason/Logan block, because three of his best players got hurt.
Could this finally be the year for Timbo?! This team has really “Caleb 2023”, “Adam 2024” energy. The “not the best team, but could go on a run” energy. Kenneth Walker is the MVP to this point? But, Lamar Jackson is already banged up. And basically, how Lamar goes is how timbo team goes.
Say something nice: This is a roster that can get ya 120+ points 3 to 4 weeks in a row. A legit threat to win a jacket.
Be mean: This team is the definition of, “an injurt away” and poor Lamar Jackson (*whispers* and KW) are pretty injury prone.
(Get ready to have your mind blown! We are going back the other direction now)
8. Jarro’s Landsharks
Giving you this fuel is what you need. I am Nick Saben telling you to do the MF’in drill again.
But forreal tho, this team is dog water booty cheeks and idk if Josh Jacobs is coming back.
Say something nice: Josh Allen. CMC is still a top 10 RB. You will probably beat me this week (more on that to come)
Be mean: I think Pickens and Henderson have elite talent. Could literally go for 30 any week, but I fear there week to week variability. We are also over leveraged on Buffalo. I’ve also lost money on Michigan football this season, pobody’s nerfect.
(Okay, makes sure you check the number beside the name)
4. The Man Who Cried Wolf
(Written before Tuesday trades)
Okay, this is low. Admittedly, I will say, Mason probably won’t end 4th in total points, but hear me out. Depth. I don’t know if you guys have noticed, but there’s a ton of injuries in the NFL. Although Mason has top tier talent, I worry about leaning on the bench.
Say something nice: Elite talent. I don’t know player rankings anymore (and I am not looking them up, that’s not what this is about), but he’s got to have 3 of the 12 top players?
Be mean: I already said it, but it’s depth. Charbonnet will be a nice addition at the end of the season, but there’s big issues down at the bottom of the bench.
(Post trade update)
So, there I am… Lying in bed Tuesday night, watching Dancing with the Stars, phone dead. I think all is fine in the world. Plug my phone in, and I am horrified to see that the power rankings post I had been working on that day, now meant nothing because Mason blew up his team and a couple others. I stand by most of what I wrote (although he somehow got more depth with these trades), but here’s my Jeanty thoughts…
I think Jeanty is good. Is he Bijan Robinson/CMC/Saquan NFL MVP good, probably not. Obviously, you don’t need him to be that, for that trade to have made sense. As much as the game has changed, you need anchor RBs, and now you have 2 again, plus I like Jeanty over K. Williams.
9. Hanna’s Honeys
*whispers* between me and you reader… if i could give Javante Williams back, I would. Do you have any idea how often i hear about drafting Javante Williams.
What if, Marvin Harrison Jr is a bust, but Carnell Tate is an all-pro. That’d be wild. I know nothing about football. Speaking of football, losing Caleb Williams (screaming on the sideline) & Jayden Daniels (gross elbow dislocation) in the same week really sealed Hanna never letting our son play football.
Say something nice: I’d also like to declare this team ONE RUNNING BACK AWAY! If Hanna could get a solid starting running back, someone ranking between like 8-12 in RBs. If only. They aren’t tough to find, you just got to get one. I have found a couple.
Be mean: I’ll trade you Javante Williams for your first round pick
3. Logan’s Legion
Is it disrespectful having the only b2b champion this low? (also I updated the champions page, please someone notice my low effort work)
I think Logan and Mason are kinda interchangeable in that 3/4 spot. I like both teams a lot, they have great top end talent, I expect their roster to change a bit as the season goes on, but… I worry about the depth. JSN, best wide receiver in football? Nico Collins, even better but constantly hurt. Adding Derrick Henry is an all-in move. I also love Monangai.
Say something nice: Elite top end talent. Having several top 12 players, and some quality second tier players.
Be mean: We are a few injuries away from starting wavier wire players
10. Jake’s Jive Turkeys
(Written post Tuesday trades)
I am soooo happy with myself that I traded away Jake’s first. I knew. I knew my king Jake would not sit on his hands with a bad team, he’s been grinding! And this team is trending up!! Chuba, Irving, and Skat are legit RBs. WRs are pretty decent. I am impressed!
Say something nice: The whole things been nice!!
Be mean: You’re still ranked tenth
2. Caleb’s Bash Brothers
Okay, so Keon Coleman reads my blog. And I, for one, am happy that he’s doing well.
Bijan Robinson is probably actually the MVP for the first four weeks. We get another Falcons primetime game this week, and I am excited about it. Excited to watch Falcons football… what a time to be alive.
Say something nice: Teams good, and deep. Elite RBs, top end WRs, the fantasy king Jared Goff at QB.
Be mean: whhhhyyyyy did you make that Cam Skattabo trade. Even if you wanted to trade him because you’re concerned about injuries, put him on the block! You could have gotten more.
11. Max is desperate for a reset because his team is terrible
(Written post Tuesday trades)
I like where this team is trending. We are making moves, trying to invest in some young talent and claw our way back to the top. Love that for you. I hope that through this rebuild process it becomes more and more clear that you have to keep your draft picks through a rebuild. Also, as the owner of your first round pick, thank you for rebuilding.
Say something nice: Ladd, BTJ, Burden.. we got some young talent. Most importantly, you have your 2028 & 2029 firsts.
Be mean: You’re projected for like 70 points, how mean I gotta be?
1. Asa’s Armadillos
Yes, I put myself first. You know why? There’s no need to hide. I am the evil super villain of the league right now. Think about it… I stole my wife’s best player. I steal (take the first round picks) from the poor (Jake & Max). Outside of starting terrible humans (looking at the people rostering Josh Jacobs, Tyreek Hill, any 49ers player (Jed York. Prostitution is bad), and whomever is gonna eventually pick up Desean Watson) I am the evil empire of this league.
Say something nice: I am the best ever.
Be mean: IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT THIS TEAM
12. Adam’s Island Survivors
(written post trades)
Is this the earliest we have ever seen a team in full tank mode? Will the fans continue to buy tickets? Or will Adam’s home games be played in front of no one?? Does the commissioner need to step in??
Okay so we are hitting the reset button, love that for you. My question… If all goes to plan. You get the first overall pick and draft Jerimah Smith. Does Smith, Nabers, Price, Boston, etc. really move the needle? There’s always hope on the other side of the season, but I think there might be more work to be done.
Say something nice: You have your own draft picks
Be mean: I feel like I have seen you type “why did I trade Gibbs” several times. Go ahead, copy that message to your notes. Change “Gibbs” to “Jeanty”, save note for later date.
Here’s that all spelt out if ya need it.
- Asa’s Armadillos
- Caleb
- Logan
- Mason
- Timbo
- Ben
- Derek
- Jarro
- Hanna
- Jake
- Max
- Adam
To the picks!!
Mason, Derek, Logan, Ben, Caleb, and my stone cold lead pipe upset of the century… of the week, give me the Landsharks over the Armadillos, cause you can’t talk all this shit, and expect to win.
