I am a natural people pleaser. I am the living embodiment of that scene from The Office where Pam explains that she doesn’t like thinking there are people in the world who don’t like her…
“I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me they wouldn’t hate me. But Karen knows me and she still hates me, so.”
Pam Beesly The Office Season 5 Episode 14
Why start, what appears to be a power rankings post, with a quote from The Office and an explanation that I am a people pleaser? Well… because when it comes to these power rankings, I think you people think I just make fun of your teams because it gives me some sort of pleasure but I need you to know it doesn’t. I don’t want to make fun of you people, but some of you ARE YOU BAD AT THIS I CAN’T RESIST. You people, when it comes to fantasy football, take my caring heart and turn me into a monster. So, it’s with that spirit, I give you our first 2020 power rankings WITH A BONUS!! Since we are just one day away from the start of the NFL season and we are also getting to watch NBA basketball, I am going to give you a modern-day NBA player comp to your team. Let’s start!
Number 12
Ben’s Team
Welp… this whole making the championship kinda turned around quick. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “uhhh… Ben’s team isn’t that bad”, and you’d be right. If these power rankings were “what team is best week 1” then you’d have a point but I am putting Ben at 12 for 3 reasons.
1st Overall the roster isn’t good. It isn’t the worst, but it isn’t good.
2nd Lack of depth. Outside of McLaurin, your bench is very shallow
3rd The lack of upside on the roster. There isn’t really any improvement to be had on the roster, who you have is basically who you get.
NBA PLAYER COMP
Dion Waiters
As we all remember, Dion had his year in the sun (2017), then he got a nice contract from the Miami Heat… then he got fat and was cut. Right now, Ben’s team had it’s moment in the sun, but his team is (metaphorically) getting back on the court and it looks fat.
Number 11
The Dahminators
So, I am not going to beat up Max’s team. It’s in a rebuild, it’s going in the right direction and I really think Max was the perfect person to right this ship. The starting lineup has the ability to win any given Sunday. His team doesn’t have a star but it has plenty of upside, Gibson, Justin Jefferson and Kyler Murray all great upside. Ekler, TGIII and Mostert all solid starters. Team’s going places and won’t be at 11 for all.
NBA PLAYER COMP
Devin Booker
As Draymon Green said while the Suns were playing in the bubble “Get my boy outta Phoenix” I am gonna say “get my boy Max some stars”. I imagine I look at Max’s team the way Lebron looked at Devin Booker, it’s cute right now but we might have a real problem on our hands soon.
Number 10
Father Tim
This roster looks brutal right now. It’s yet to be seen what the value of Fournette is in Tampa, what D’Andre Swift’s role will be and how long until Deebo Samuel comes back. Outside of those things, the only reason I put Father Tim over Max & Ben (which a real argument could be made that this is the worst team in the league) I could see more ways that this team could be better than Max or Ben. The floor of a team with someone like Lamar Jackson on it is decently high, but even still, Thielen, TY Hilton, Melvin Gordon and DK Metcalf are all decently established players with a noticeable different situation around them that could very easily lead to them being better. Plus the added bonus of all the rookie additions, Swift, Higgins and Mims could all be the DK Metcalf or Deebo Samuel of last year. So, for those reasons, I gave Timbo the nod over Max and Ben.
NBA PLAYER COMP
Kris Middleton
Is Kris Middleton keeping anyone up at night? No. Is Kris Middleton leading any team to an NBA finals? No. If Kris Middleton is on the court, can he get you a bucket? Yes. Can Kris Middleton win you any given game if he gets super hot? Yes.
That’s how I view this team. Is it keeping me up at night? Lol no. But is there a chance if all breaks right this team could make a nice playoff run? Yes.
Number 9
Derek’s BDE
Again, not a week 1 ranking. Which means you can steal an easy win from Derek early in the season but at some point, JK Dobbin, Jerry Jeudy and CeeDee Lamb are going to start being large contributing factors on their given teams and that’s when this team will really start to make a playoff push. I like Derrick Henry as the star and there are some okay pieces around him, Brown, Boyd and Cooks. Don’t sleep on Jordan Howard down in Miami, lotta Touchdown potential there. All in all, this team isn’t quite scary yet but if the rookies contribute in a meaningful way in 2020, this is a playoff team.
NBA PLAYER COMP
Duncan Robinson
Yes, yes, yes, we give Derek the great white hope. (Ps, there is no debate, for white Americans Duncan Robinson is the great white hope). Derek’s team isn’t getting love off the jump, much like the great white hope Duncan Robinson (TGWHDR for short) went to William and Mary’s and started in the G League. Derek’s team, also like TGWHDR, isn’t going to be the must stop team on your schedule. BUT Derek’s team, muck like TGWHDR, can steal one away from you if you aren’t paying attention.
Number 8
Uncle Sammy’s Elite
Here we are… All of my Caleb hate has come full circle to where I have him as a playoff team in the week 1 power rankings. In my face, ammi right? Well, Caleb’s team has come together decently well and he’s really one player away from a very solid starting lineup. Devin Singletary is going to lose that job, if he hasn’t already. That puts Larry Legend, Anthony Miller, John Brown? In your starting lineup? Don’t love that. Wilson, Drake and Robinson are extremely solid plays. Sutton, Ridley and Akers are all players with breakout potential in 2020. This is one of those teams that will be fighting hard with whomever emerges from the bottom 4 for a playoff spot.
NBA PLAYER COMP
Markieff Morris
Not as good as his brother Marcus Morris, but yet some how always there, Markieff Morris has made an NBA career out of not going away. He’s always there, on decent team, playing meaningful minutes. That’s Caleb’s team. I’ve tried to kill it several times and it just WON’T DIE.
Number 7
The Basterds
Okay, if you couldn’t tell, my draft grade was just a joke, this will be for real.
I think there’s a sizable gap between Caleb and Jake but after that gap, I think Jake is sitting in a tier all by himself because this team has some issues. Mainly in the backend starter area. Tarik Cohen ain’t the one. He isn’t a fantasy football starter (on basically any team) he’s a 7 point a game guy who can be replaced by someone on the waiver wire every week. N’Keal Harry ain’t the one. He isn’t a fantasy football starter (on basically any team) he’s a 7 point a game guy who can be replaced by someone on the waiver wire every week.
I know what you’re thinking… did you just copy and paste the same thing twice? The answer is yes. You know why? BECAUSE THEY’RE BASICALLY THE SAME FOR FANTASY PURPOSES. They have enough value to not cut them but they have no real value. Much like Father Tim, any team with Patrick Mahomes has a very high floor, when you add in Kamara, Tyreek Hill and Marvin Jones (who will be very sneaky good) this team is going to win enough games to make the playoffs but with those two anchors in your starting lineup, you won’t go far. (for the record there’s a chance N’Keal is good, but having him as a week 1 starter is laughable)
NBA PLAYER COMP
Patrick Beverly
Is there any better player comp for a team called “The Bastards” than Patrick Beverley? Patrick Beverley (for those who don’t know) is a very aggressive defensive basketball player who famously hurt Russell Wesrbrook by leaping at his knee. Patrick Beverley is the kind of player every team needs but one that no one likes… kinda like a bastard? Even though I don’t believe Jake is a bastard, his fantasy team has taken on that persona, so… he gets Patrick Beverly.
Number 6
Adam’s Island Survivors
After getting the full background on Adam’s team name, I am all on board, great fantasy brand. You know what’s not great? The outlook on some of these players. Adam has a good team that got depreciably worse this offseason from top to bottom. Keenan Allen lost his QB, no one knows what’s happening in Green Bay with their RBs but I know it’s not good for Aaron Jones, Dallas drafted CeeDee Lamb, the Rams are experimenting with a new offense that features a ton of 12 personnel which would leave out Cooper Kupp, and Drew Brees is another year older and throwing the ball shorter distances by the day.
All that said, I will start where I began, Adam has a good team. No doubt in my mind this is a playoff team, it just isn’t going to win a championship with this roster
NBA PLAYER COMP
Paul George
Wait what?! You just blew up Adam’s team then gave him Paul George?! Yes. That’s exactly what I did, you know why? BECAUSE THIS IS A GOOD TEAM. Just like Paul George is a good NBA player, but ya know what happens when Paul George makes it to the playoffs? “Playoff P” comes out and ya know what “Playoff P” does? He loses when it counts. This team will lose when it counts*
*Probably*
Number 5
Logan’s Legion
Ya know what Logan has done this offseason? He has had the best offseason in MFL history. There I said it. This team went from trash to good really quick. Logan had a process, he… trusted the process… and the time has come to preform and I believe his team can do it. The team boasts several players in the top 50, Mixon, Evans, AJ Brown, Kelce, and Woods. The biggest question facing Logan in 2020 is who the hell will Le’Veon Bell be? Is he a bell cow RB like we expect? Or is he gadget player? Is he slow? Is he in a RBBC? Who the hell knows. The good news for Logan is that he has a couple good bench stashes Diontae Johnson, Preston Williams and Robby Anderson. I really think this team should be good, top 4, maybe can win a championship if things go right kind of good.
NBA PLAYER COMP
The entire 2018-2019 76ers Team
Okay, I made a “Trust The Process” joke in there, and I am gonna stick with it because Logan really embodies “The Process”. He defiantly tanked. He defiantly has built a team, from the ground, that everyone is worried about. I mean, think back to that 76ers team, Simmons, Embiid, Tobias Harris, Robert Covington, JIMMY BUCKETS!! That was a freaking team. They finished 3rd in the East and got bounced from the playoffs early. I am not willing to doom Logan’s team to that fate but he’s really good and could win it all… or exit the playoffs early in classic Mitchell’s Lobos fashion
Number 4
Jarro’s Landsharks
For the record, there’s a gap between the Jarro and Logan. With these top 4 teams I am really getting nit-picky. With Jarro, compared to the other top 4 teams, there’s some issues in the starting lineup, most notably DeSean Jackson and Kerryon Johnson. He’s got options to replace Kerryon, Montgomery & Kareem Hunt. But as far as that WR position goes… yikes. Right now starting DeSean Jackson and I guess really hoping Henry Ruggs becomes… well… DeSean Jackson? They both will have a 30 point game, followed by 5 weeks of 3 point game potential and that worries me a ton come playoff time (I assume you will address this before then) but until then it’s a glaring hole that can’t be ignored.
NBA PLAYER COMP
Giannis Antetokounmpo
Giannis is really good. Jarro is really good. Giannis can carry a team to a championship. Jarro can manage a team to a championship. Giannis got shut down by Miami (even before the injury). Jarro could be shut down by his big hole at WR. Giannis is an MVP candidate and whatever team he is on could win the NBA championship every year. If you tell me, Jarro manages his team to a championship this year I wouldn’t be surprised at all.
Number 3
Mason’s Mistress
This team is deep. This team is good. This team can win a championship…. BUT This team has some very obvious holes. This team could be the worst opening day team Mason has ever had. This team could need a lot of work.
All those things are true. All at the same time. Mason’s team is very good, top to bottom, to think Mark Ingram and Jonathan Taylor are both, just aren’t starting, they both are NOT EVEN THE FIRST OPTION OFF THE BENCH is crazy because they both start on most teams in the league. So, if this team is so good and so deep, how could this be Mason’s worst start of the season team ever? Well, that has less to do with this team and more to do with how good the rest of his teams have been. Gardner Minshew/Dj Chark stack is going to be a problem and I think it’s going to be a problem week 1. I don’t think Jacksonville is bad enough to be losing by 30 points in the fourth quarter which means they won’t be getting that “gift” junk time scoring. I think they will be just good enough in that division to screw Mason over for fantasy purposes. I like Jay Gruden and I think that team will be just good enough to lose every game by 14 points. Amari Cooper is an issue. He isn’t a liability, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see a drop off in his points this year. Odell Beckham still has Baker Mayfield throwing him the ball and that’s a problem.
Mason’s team is a top 3 team and will have every bit of an opportunity to win a championship as any team above it in the power rankings, but as it sits now… I don’t like it as much as the next two teams (obviously).
Ps, my computer algorithm hates Mason’s team, has him at 8th overall in the power rankings
NBA PLAYER COMP
Kevin Durant
Yes… I went outside of the bubble for this comparison. Have we all forgotten how good KD is because he played at GSW the last 3 years and didn’t play this year. KD is an all-time great and one of the greatest pure scores anyone has ever seen. If you were starting a NBA franchise with KD as your best player, as a GM you’d flip with excitement but…. Also…. KD had to go to GSW to win, he couldn’t do it alone. He needed more help than he had. Mason is KD at OKC right now, looking for his Stephen Curry and if one of you SONS OF BITCHES GIVE HIM HIS STEPH IT WILL RUIN THE LEAUGE.
Number 2
Hanna’s Honeys
While most of talked over Hanna’s jacket acceptance speech, she pulled an audio clip from the MFL Podcast. Here it is… (sadly those bastards at WordPress want me to give them more money so I can upload the audio… aint gonna happen, sorry, basically, Jarro went on and on about how Hanna’s team was trash, speaking of trash he and I were both trashed)
Okay, so was her team trash? No, but was there an element of luck in her winning last year? Oh yes. To her credit, she made the right moves, but anytime your team wins with Mike Boone and Breshard Perriman leading the way, you have to admit there was at least some element of luck… right?
Well, behind Logan, Hanna probably had the second or third best offseason of anyone. Miles Sanders became the unquestioned top back in Philly. Josh Jacobs rose to top 10ish overall level. Kenny Golladay got Matt Stafford back. Oh and also NFL rookie starting running back Zack Moss fell all the way to TWELVE?! THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. All of that takes Hanna from feel good story last year to OMG she might be the first ever repeat champion. The team is really good, the only issue, in my mind, is Emmanuel Sanders starting but that is far far overshadowed by the 3 top 7ish RBs in her starting lineup, plus a top 3 QB and my favorite player Kenny Golladay (if you watch him play NFL football you will understand what I am talking about, dudes so freaking good). All this adds up to a team that we should all dread to face and maybe… possibly, the first ever 2-Time MFL champion and she could do that back-to-back which, goes without saying, would also be a first.
NBA PLAYER COMP
Kawhi Leonard
Kawhi has been the silent giant killer for a while now. You won’t catch Kawhi on TMZ but you can’t argue that he isn’t one of, if not the, best player in the NBA. I think, when you look over this team, it isn’t going to slap you in the face with flash but this very easily could be the team that wins most overall points and could be another jacket added to the closet of Hanna.
Number 1
Mitchell’s Lobos
Yes, I know, I know… but I really think this is one of the few times I have ever put myself as the top team in a power rankings. Mainly because its an unneeded target on my back but if you want me to be honest and say what team I think is the best… It’s mine. As of right now, in Tristan Cockcrofts PPR Flex rankings for Week 1 (that means TE’s have no added value) 5 of my 6 starters are in the top 30, including 3 in the top 12. No one else is close to that. My worst starter is Julian Edelman? Sterling Shepard? Starting RB Sony Michel?? You put in the added bonus of the Jacksonville backfield (fingers crossed) and Cam Newton? Who could end up returning to a near MVP form?? I mean… taking all bias out of the equation, the Lobo’s are certainly one of the best teams and I think you’d be hard pressed to find a better team (as of now).
NBA PLAYER COMP
Lebron James
(Crown emoji) —-> (Dog emoji)
The MFL 